Monday 2 August 2010

The Problem with the Problem with Western Society

Avid readers of self-help or New Age/spiritual books have heard it often. The way we do things in Western society (i.e. that inspired by European and North American traditions) is broken. Suboptimal. Not as good as it should be. Wrong. Evil. Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera...
We're too obsessed about our looks. We think of money as the be-all and end-all of life. Advertising is everywhere. We're passing on questionable values to our children. And so on and so forth.

Now while the complaints of the top authors today might be true to an extent, here's why I think lambasting Western society is not the best way to go about things:

1: It doesn't actually solve your problems. Yes, maybe our medical profession puts treating the ailment ahead of treating the patient. Maybe there is too much of an emphasis in our society on how you look, what car you drive, how much you earn, how your favourite football team did last season. But does blaming those things for your situation get you any closer to solving them? No, it doesn't.
If you're overweight, don't blame your low self-esteem on some perceived attitude towards overweight people. If your income isn't that great, don't whine about how people think you should be making massive five, six or seven-figure sums per year.
Those things are disempowering to focus on. If you want a solution, focus on something that does empower you. What if your health isn't good, but you're very disciplined when it comes to work? You can use that positive work attitude to help turn your health around! There you go, something positive for your mind to chew on.

2: How do you think the rest of the world has it? In the Western world, we are actually very lucky where we stand. We are some of the wealthiest people in the world, with massive resources which we can command. Virtually everyone has Internet access. Education is widespread. We can exercise freedom of speech, a right denied to hundreds of millions around the world.
Not everyone has it as good as we do. In some countries, it's a struggle to even feed one's family properly. Governments often act in their own interests, against those of the people. Many countries have women's rights records which are far from stunning. And Internet access? Only for the rich.
We should be grateful that we live in the world that we do. If we started thinking about what we can do as a society, what we can change about ourselves, who knows where that might lead? Instead of focusing all our attention on problems, we begin to focus on solutions, both on an individual and a collective level.

Another way to think about it is this: If you have so much wealth at your disposal and there are big problems in the world, you almost have a duty to use that wealth to solve those problems.

3: This kind of thinking can lead to cynicism. This is especially the case if you're young (early 20s or younger), and you don't have much life experience to go on. Once you start hearing about all the ills of the mainstream, you start to prejudge things around you- books, people, pasttimes- as things which fall under that umbrella of "Western" or "mainstream" or some other label you associate with negativity. This kind of prejudice can cause you to relate to the world around you in a disconnected and cynical manner.
This may sound like I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, but you have to remember: this Western society that you like bashing so much is actually the society you live in. Interact with your world. You will soon know through experience what resonates with you and what doesn't. Even if it's typically considered "mainstream", you might end up liking it. The key here is to consciously create a life that you know you like, that fits with you. This is a process that continues through life, and you may never get it exactly right. Experience will teach you more than prejudice will.

4: Is 'Western' philosophy as bad as people say it is? People that write about Eastern philosophical concepts in a New Age context find it very helpful to criticise the Western way because it helps promote what they're saying as an alternative- dare I say it, as something "better". Even if they're not trying to actually sell you on their idea, they will still criticise Western ideas to get you to think.
Firstly, no spiritual tradition is superior or inferior to any other. In this world, we are all looking for the same things: happiness, spiritual fulfilment, inner peace, success in life (however defined). That applies to us whether we're Westerners, from the Far East, the Middle East, Africa, the Siberian wilderness or even from Mars. All spiritual traditions have asked, and tried to answer, the same big questions since the dawn of humanity, and all tried to find those things we've all been looking for. If you come from a Judeo-Christian background, look into your religion. What can you find in it that is good and has real value, even if you don't agree with everything your religion teaches? You might not agree with the idea that God sends all gay people to Hell, but you might agree with Jesus's teachings about forgiveness. I quite like the parable of the man who built his house on sand: you can apply the concept and the metaphor almost anywhere. (I wouldn't call myself a Christian either, so that's saying something :) )
Secondly, in my opinion, Eastern and New Age traditions are also flawed. There will be plenty amongst that bunch which you don't agree with. I have found it very hard to accept all the lore about crystals. I also think karma is a bit of a disempowering thing to believe in sometimes. You will find things in these philosophies which you don't agree with, I promise.

***

So that's my two cents on why it's not always wise to criticise Western society. Granted, it's far from perfect, but it is what it is. And, quite likely, it is the world you find yourself living in. Interact with it. See it for what it is. Maybe the way we do things isn't so bad after all.

And if you wouldn't say you live in a Western society, you can still look upon the society you live in in a similar way.

Monday 14 June 2010

Journaling

Self-awareness can play a vital role in our lives. By being more in touch with the way you think, how you do things and how you see the world, you can take steps to improve your life. Any work on growth or bettering your life starts with that crucial awareness.





How do you get that self-awareness? Answer: by introspection. By getting in touch with yourself and actually analysing how you act, realising what habits you have, and so on. You might have done some introspection in the past. You might have been doing so when driving, or in a quiet moment at home, or maybe not at all. But oftentimes it's not very structured: it's part of the continuous mental dialogue that occurs in the background of your thoughts. For introspection to work at its best, you need to give it structure, to consciously take time out to do it.



A lot of people and authors suggest meditation as a good way of getting in touch with yourself and increasing your self-awareness. While I suppose it does have benefits in the long run, I don't find it effective if I want to sit down and sort something through in my head *right now* or find a solution to a problem I'm having right now. For that I need something to help guide my thoughts, and for me that thing is journaling.



I've been keeping a journal now for over 2 years, and it's my favourite tool for developing my self-awareness. These are some of the key benefits it has:





1: You get to read back what you write, either now or in future. This can be fantastic and open doors on mental blocks or erroneous ways of thinking which you otherwise would have missed. Imagine, if you've been struggling with a problem you've been having for a long time, and then all of a sudden it becomes clear that you've been thinking about it the wrong way, that's so much of the struggle overcome. What if all you needed to do to land your perfect partner was think to yourself "I am attractive"? What if all you needed to do to improve your health was realise "You know, every time I eat out at these fast food restaurants, I feel terrible about myself afterwards"?

5 years or more down the line, you can read back your old journal entries and think "Whoa, I've grown a lot since then! I sure don't find those things difficult any more!" Even in so much as a year, the change can be really noticeable.


2: Journaling facilitates clearer thinking. When journaling, you are sitting down quietly and writing out your thoughts in a sequential way. This programs a new way of thinking into your brain, which can then infect the other areas of your life. You gain access to a way of thinking that is clearer, more logical, and also calmer. In this way, journaling actually has a lot in common with meditation as it can help clear out the gunk in your head and reduce a raging torrent of thoughts into a navigable, calm sea.





3: It's more tactile than traditional "meditation". You've most likely heard that meditation is a good way to help you get a window on your own thoughts. But in meditation, it can be hard for you to get a good focusing point for your mind. Whether it's breathing, or a white spot, a mantra or an object in front of you, the mind can wander off as it can't hold on to the grasp of the thing you are meditating on. This is different for different people, but it's definitely my experience.
Journaling gives you something far easier for your mind to focus on as you do what is effectively a meditation. Instead of your own breath or some nice-sounding words in a foreign language, you have a pen and pad in hand, or your fingers on a keyboard. This makes it easier for your mind to engage itself, especially if you have a short attention span.





4: It's fun! Like many other good habits, the #1 reason I have been able to maintain a journaling practice for 2 years is this: it is enjoyable. In fact, I wouldn't even use the word "maintain" to describe how I continue to do it. It feels effortless. I take off days now and then, but after them there's tons of stuff I can't wait to write. And I mean, what would you rather do on a Wednesday night in? Sit around on Facebook pretending to be enjoying yourself, having so-called "conversations" with your friends? Or writing down your thoughts and seeing where your little dialogue takes you? You really don't have much better to be doing :) Let's face it: Facebook sucks. You might decide you don't like journaling in the end, but hey, at least it's something :)





How to get started


If what you've read has got you interested in starting your own journal, then why not start today? All you'll need is a pen and pad, or a computer. Write the date, and just type away. I started with pen and pad, and then moved on to keeping an electronic journal after six months. Why? Because it's faster and cheaper to type than to write since you don't have to keep getting new notebooks. Plus, pens run out, but keyboards don't :)


There are many good software programs you can use to keep an electronic journal. You can use Word, but I wouldn't recommend it for two reasons: (a) it can be an effort storing and organising all your journal files, and (b) there's no autosave, which means you can lose a lot of what you've written. The program I use is Microsoft OneNote, part of the Office package. This is awesome because you can organise your notes into separate pages and tabs. What I do is have one tab for each month, and one page for each day under those tabs. You can insert pictures or audio files, and your work is saved automatically as soon as you exit.


There are plenty of other applications you can use. There are even apps for the iPhone and iPad. One which I haven't used but heard lots about is a program called The Journal. See a review here: http://www.stevepavlina.com/the-journal


Give it a go!

Don't say you don't have the time to do it. You seem to have plenty of time to sit bored in front of the TV, so why not do this for a change? The worst that will happen is you won't like it and you'll shelve it. The best? You can have a wonderful, insightful tool that can accelerate your growth and follow you through life.

Friday 11 June 2010

Starting Your Own Business: Course Review

For the past two days I attended a course put on by the University of London Careers Group which was all about starting up your own business. I've been considering becoming an entrepreneur since before I started university (about 2 years ago now), and I would definitely say the course has given me an understanding of the tools and skills I can use to start up my own business. I'll review the course by day, and then I'll sum up with a conclusion.

Day 1: Skills, Networking, Planning, Guest Speakers
After the attendees all came in and broke the ice (to very cheesy music I must add), we were asked to each name a famous entrepreneur, a female entrepreneur and a social entrepreneur (someone who starts up an enterprise primarily to do good for society, whether or not it's for profit). We had to also discuss what skills and characteristics they had that made them successful. This was to get a basic idea of what it meant to be an entrepreneur. The most common names that came up were Sir Richard Branson, Anita Roddick (of Body Shop fame) and Facebook's very own Mark Zuckerberg. Their skills and traits included taking risks, spotting trends and gaps in the market determination, resilience and being shameless in promoting themselves.

We then had a talk from a UL Careers Adviser on the benefits of networking. Networking is one of those things that people scoff at, but definitely it's not. I would describe it as "socialising with a purpose", making friends and contacts with people who could offer you something, or whom you could offer some of your services and skills. You can run ideas past them, get feedback and maybe even get them to give their input as well. Some people in your network may be clients or customers. It's more focused than mere socialising, and if someone in your network might not be able to help you with something, they would almost certainly know someone who can. The guy giving the talk summed it up brilliantly: "People buy people first."

We had lunch after that, and then we played a game in which we learned about the aspects of developing a business. We were divided into groups of six, and were each given a product to sell and a business to plan for- in this case, a pop-up cardboard vase. (Hmmm.....)
Each of us had one deck of cards, relating to actions to take, marketing, strategy, securing finance, what kind of people to hire. We had an Idea for how to market the vase and to whom, and a Goal that we wanted to achieve (e.g. 5000 units sold in 6 months), each written on Post-It notes and stuck on two ends of a board. Earlier action cards, such as planning short-term goals, were put nearer the Idea, and later actions (e.g. extending product range) nearer the Goal. Those that weren't relevant, we kept to the side. Afterwards, we had to pitch our business plan to another group.
The game went on for quite a while but it was still very insightful into all the things that could go into building a business. That was not to say, however, that there was a specific way to build a business that everyone followed. Someone developing and selling a product has a different business plan and structure to someone offering a service, such as coaching.

At the end of the day, we had three guest speakers, all of them entrepreneurs. There was Robin Bennett, who started several businesses beginning in the 1992 recession; Rajeeb Dey, who runs a website called Enternships.com which offers internships in start-ups to university students; and a man from the Social Investment Company (whose name I completely forget) talking about resources available to those wanting to set up social enterprises. They were all very passionate about business and entrepreneurship. They didn't all have great presentation skills (I found the Social Investment guy's presentation a bit hard to follow) but they still had many words of wisdom and insight to give to us.

Day 2: Negotiating, the Elevator Pitch and the British Library
Whereas the first day was more about business skills and know-how, the second was more about communication, selling yourself, marketing and being confident in your own idea. We started the day with a talk about the essentials of how to market: identifying a target market and convincing them why they should buy from us and not anyone else, and also how to close a deal or a sale.

Then we played a game called MarketPlace. We each had to split off into teams of two or three. Half of us were restaurant owners, the other half were from a web service company pitching an online booking system to them. We had 10-20 minutes preparation time, in which the restaurant owners decided what kind of restaurant they would be, and the booking system people composed their pitch. Then the negotiation began. I was a restaurant owner to start with, and my partner and I had a trendy vegetarian restaurant in the City. During the negotiation, my partner and I drew cards pertaining to our needs and our objections to the system, and listened to the response of the sellers. Some of the restaurateurs and web companies closed a deal (including my group), but there was one group where negotiations descended into argument... Not good! Then we switched roles. Now my partner and I had to pitch to a Michelin-starred restaurant in Knightsbridge. Scary :O But we pulled it off. They wanted a system for a very select group of customers, and we were able to provide a distinguished service :)

The game was much easier second time round because everyone knew what to expect. I guess it was up to each side to up the ante a bit, and to see how they could make their booking system better, or their restaurant a more challenging client.

After lunch, we practised our pitching. Each of us had to write and give an "elevator pitch" for a business idea- a short presentation which can be finished in an elevator ride. We had to pitch to 16 other participants and ask for their feedback, improving accordingly as we went. I think this was an excellent way to learn about how to present yourself and your idea, because you actually learnt through doing it. For many people their weaknesses were in the structure of the pitch. For others, it was more in the body language, or eye contact or enthusiasm in the delivery. Sixteen people in about one hour was a tall order, and most of us didn't get that many pitches in, but we learnt plenty from the ones we did. In the end, it's a lot less intimidating than Dragons' Den-style pitching (and personally I think that show over-sensationalises the whole thing anyway).

Then it was off to the British Library's Business and IP Centre to find out what they had to offer to entrepreneurs. Theirs is a comprehensive collection regarding intellectual property, the essentials of starting a business, marketing, writing a business plan, securing investment and so on. I think it's brilliant that we got a chance to see first-hand this amazing resource. We couldn't go into the Centre proper- we would have needed individual Reader's Passes for that- but we still had a talk in the foyer from one of the staff. The foyer showcased brilliant inventions, entrepreneurial success stories... and of course Bloomberg was on the big widescreen telly :)

Summary
Overall, I would say that the course was a fantastic opportunity to learn the essential skills needed in starting a business. Of course, the best way to learn about starting and running a business is to actually do it, but what we learned is plenty to go on.

What I would have appreciated was more coverage on the importance of online branding and social media. In this day and age, you almost can't have a business without a strong online presence. This may include a blog, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or anything else. It can open you up to millions of potential buyers and investors. Some businesses, like Amazon, are online businesses anyway. There is plenty of info out there for online branding- Lifehack.org is a good source and it does plenty of other business topics too- but even so, it's something this particular course lacked in my opinion. Maybe they'll put it in next year.

Despite that, it was a fantastic couple of days. This is much more than you could ever get from a 2-hour talk by someone coming in to your uni or college one evening. My favourite bits were the elevator pitching and the restaurant game. I would definitely recommend this course to future participants. Who knows- you may even meet a future business partner there!

Tuesday 8 June 2010

Starting Your Own Business Course: Preview

Starting tomorrow, I will be on a 2-day course put on by my uni's Careers Group on starting my own business.

I'm excited and looking forward to it. I've been toying with the idea of starting my own business for a long time. This will be a perfect opportunity for me to learn more about it.

The course will cover topics such as entrepreneurial behaviours and mindsets, networking, project development, negotiation and pitching, and I'll also get to meet some entrepreneurs.

I will be blogging about what I learn on both days. Stay tuned :)

Sunday 30 May 2010

Mind Body Spirit Festival Review

On Friday I was at the London Mind Body Spirit Festival at the Royal Horticultural Halls. I've been interested in spirituality and New Age topics for three years now. I just want to make this post to let you know how it went, and what I learnt





Mind, Body and Spirit: My Experience Thus Far

To give you a brief background, my interest in MBS began in early 2007. I developed an interest in meditation and psychic development, but I only pursued it as a side interest and only for a few months. Later on in the year, as 2007 turned to 2008, I became interested in personal development. I was a regular reader of Steve Pavlina's blog (at http://www.stevepavlina.com) and from there I found a link to his wife's website (www.erinpavlina.com) which covered spirituality and psychic development. Once again, I found myself becoming very interested in such topics as meditation, the Law of Attraction and it was also during this time that I truly figured out what spirituality meant: asking serious questions about yourself, your life and the universe in which you existed.

There were always some things in the subject area which I found too hard to swallow- they were too far-fetched or sounded a tad fraudulent, or I couldn't relate it to my life experience. But there were things which I did accept. In early 2010 I decided to take a break from all this spiritual stuff, to allow myself to connect with reality through experience instead of just reading about stuff, and it was now with the Mind Body Spirit festival that I decided to reignite my passion for the spiritual.

Psychic Development

During the day, I went to two workshops. The first was titled Develop Your Psychic Skills by Heidi Sawyer. I was grateful for the chance to hear about the subject from an actual, practising psychic. The workshop covered early experiences in psychic development, plus the different psychic modalities (clairvoyance, clairsentience and clairaudience. There are also claircognizance and something involving smell/taste, but we didn't cover those.)


I learnt that I was clairsentient. Clairsentients receive psychic information in the form of feelings or emotions. I'm not sure if that is actually the case, but there is another telling point: Clairsentients tend to be very kinaesthetic people. They are touchy-feely types- just like me.
Whenever I'm in a shop looking for things, the way I always connect with them has been to touch them, or to pick them up and feel them. My favourite way of connecting with people is also like that- I'm quite fond of a hug :). Heidi actually said that if you put a bunch of clairsentients in a room and left them to their devices, 10 minutes later they would all be in a group hug. My idea of heaven :).

Tantra

The second workshop I attended was a workshop on tantra given by Mahasatvaa Sarita and her team from The School of Awakening. I'd heard briefly about tantra before, but this was the first time I had truly come across it.

The workshop was absolutely amazing. We started off doing an exercise in partners where we expressed our sexual and then our spiritual sides to one another, changing partners as we went. The former involved energetic dancing to funky (if a little cheesy) music. The latter was a more serene experience. Most of us just held hands, enjoyed being in the moment with each other and looked lovingly into each other's eyes. With one of the participants, it actually felt like I was in love. We embraced, and I felt so happy and so loved that I almost cried.

In the second part of the workshop, again in partners, we took part in a meditative exercise focused on being present through the senses. It involved one partner laying down blindfolded, and the other doing the following:
-Whispering in their partner's ear, to stimulate the auditory sense;
-Holding pieces of tissue paper with fragrances on them over their partner's nose, to stimulate the sense of smell;
-Feeding their partner pieces of fruit, to stimulate taste;
-Giving their partner a massage (sense of touch), and then;
-Removing their partner's blindfold and dancing for them (sense of vision).

Partners then switched roles and the above was repeated.

The big idea that I got from the Tantra workshop was this: Spirituality and sexuality are two sides of the same coin. We are beautiful as spiritual beings AND as sexual beings. One is an expression of beauty with respect to the physical, the other with respect to the spiritual aspect of ourselves. Neither one is better or worse, higher or lower, than the other. They simply are. And we are just simply both physical creatures and spiritual beings in nature, and having a body is nothing to be ashamed of.

The Rest of the Festival
I spent the remainder of the festival browsing the stands which were mostly related to health and fitness. A number of stands demonstrated massage techniques and also sold massage equipment. There was also an organic snack stand. There were also stands selling books, and offering readings and services of various kinds (astrology, tarot, reiki, theta healing, past life regression etc). There was also a stage which I went up to at numerous times during the festival to watch shows and demonstrations. I even got the chance to participate in the AcroYoga demonstration (see their website: www.acroyoga.org). It was slightly scary doing acrobatic moves in front of an audience when I had never done any kind of acrobatics before, but it was exhilarating and I had full trust in the professionals helping me.

In all, it was a fantastic occasion, and I can't wait to go again. Mind, Body and Spirit is one of those topics that you have to take in moderation, and there are many things you must take with a pinch of salt, but it is thrilling and can really help you answer some of the big questions in life.

Sunday 16 May 2010

Welcome to Chris Gaskell's blog

This is the first post in what I hope will become an insightful resource.

As I start this blog, it is the height of exam season. It is Saturday evening and I have just arrived home from a busy day of revision and helping out with an endeavour at my university called Books For Sudan. Outside my uni is a massive green shipping container, and we have been receiving van-loads of books from universities and public libraries to send off to a university in southern Sudan. I haven't been that involved in it but I was glad to lend a helping hand today. It's actually not too long before the container is shipped out :)